'It took many months to gain her trust': Woman takes in a sweet stray she was caring for, the cat gets stressed so she turns to the wholesome online feline family for advice

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Jan 5, 2026 2:00 PM EST

The Cat Distribution System works in mysterious, whiskered ways. Sometimes it sends a little soul to sleep on your porch, slowly weaving themselves into your life until one day you realize they're not just "a neighborhood cat" anymore - they're your cat. But the CDS doesn't always hand over a tidy instruction manual. Even when the adoption is mutual, there can be tears, confusion, and a whole lot of "did I do the right thing?" from both sides of the door.

And that's where the magic of the online feline family comes in. When a human or a cat is overwhelmed by their new CDS assignment, there's this giant, cozy internet safety net ready to catch them. People who have been there before. People who understand kitty panic, slow-blink trust, and the delicate art of adjusting indoor life at a cat's pace.

So when this new cat pawrent reached out - warm-hearted but worried - the cat community showed up exactly as expected. With advice, kindness, reassurance, and a whole lot of love for both human and cat. It's proof that none of us ever really go through CDS deliveries alone. There's always someone ready to help, guide, and remind us that every frightened meow is just a stepping stone toward a safer, happier life.

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  • 01
    I posted here a little while ago about Clancy, a little grey and white cat who was hanging around our house and sleeping in a kitty shelter on the porch.
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 02
    It took many months to gain her trust, but we finally became friends. Last night my husband and I prepped a bathroom with a litter box, food & water, and some hiding spots, and we brought Clancy's outdoor kitty house in there as well.
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 03
    Then I picked Clancy up and walked her inside, and spent about 2 hours sitting in the bathroom with her before I had to go to bed.
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10593314816
    via Objective_Carpet4142

  • First of all, we can tell from this picture alone that this cat really trusts this human. There's really a high potential for this person to be this human's cat, and for this person to be this cat's human.

    We can see that the cat is not just close, she's practically attached to the human's side. When a cat shares their body heat with you (or, you know, takes your body heat from you), it means they trust you enough to get this close. We can also see this cat lets this person pet them - and with stray cats, it never goes without saying. If a cat lets you pet them, it's a great sign of feline friendship. Also, it's worth mentioning that the cat's ears are not folded back - she's not afraid.

    As far as we understand the situation, this cat and this person could really be “each other's”. Yes, there is a major bump on the way, but we all know it's passable. And other cat pawrents know that as well. That's why the advice you get from the online feline family is invaluable - they truly know what they're talking about.

  • 05
    This morning she is crying, meowing, and doesn't want anything to do with me. At one point she squirmed out the bathroom door and bolted for the front door of the house, crying the whole way.
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 06
    She hasn't eaten (other than a couple of churu) and hasn't used the litter. I feel like I made a mistake.
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 07
    I know it's only been one night, but she seems so upset. She's just such a small cat, and she already has torn ears from scraps with other animals.
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 08
    It's so hard to imagine her living her entire life outside, but she's so unhappy inside right now.
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 09
    We also have a very needy dog (a 35-lb mini Australian shepherd) who goes nuts every time she hears a
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 10
    We're trying to keep her locked upstairs while Clancy adjusts, but now the dog is upset too.
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 11
    Any advice would be much appreciated. Picture of Clancy in the bathroom last night for tax.
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 12
    CrashNowhereDrive Clancy is adorable. Give it more time. You bit the bullet on bringing her in, now it's best to stick with it. Don't sit with her in the bathroom, let it be her place if you have another bathroom to use. I know you think your presence is comforting - and some day it will be, but for now it's just another stressor. Let her come to you outside of her designated safe space. She'll be a lot better off indoors though, you're doing the right thing. Give it just a few days.
    via CrashNowhereDrive
  • 13
    Edit: Thanks for the award! But really anyone adopting a cat off the street deserves it more, and all the support we can give them. Tbh I think people adopting strays should be first in line for heaven, but we already get that once our best friends settle in.
    via CrashNowhereDrive
  • 14
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 Thank you! We'll continue to give it time. We do have another bathroom, so I'll let her hang out quietly in the one she's in and make sure it's a safe quiet space for her!
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 15
    Either Ad3740 It will definitely take some time for adjustment. I had a guy that I was feeding and had to trap him to get him neutered first off. He was skittish around me for a bit after but I was able to get him to trust me again, however he kept getting in fights. After one particularly bad wound from a cat bite/abcess, I brought him inside.
    via Either_Ad3740
  • 16
    He was freaked out at first, but I would just spend time with him in his space and once he was more comfortable, I started letting him. explore other areas of the house. The biggest issue was the litter box. He didn't understand/use it until I filled it with mulch from my yard, he immediately jumped in and peed for what seemed like 15 minutes. I had to use mulch and slowly mix in cat litter until he was used to the litter.
    via Either_Ad3740
  • 17
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 Great point about the mulch/litter! Might try that eventually if she doesn't figure out the litter. I'm glad your guy warmed up and got comfortable!!
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 18
    Status-Effort-9380 My cat is 19 and has been an indoor cat his whole life. Prior to that we had 2 cats who were indoor/outdoor. This cat is so much healthier due to living solely indoors. Long term, getting him inside will be the best for him.
    via Status-Effort-9380
  • 19
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 This is something I keep telling myself too- the lifespan of outdoor or combo cats is so much shorter and their lives can be so hard. I had a spoiled indoor cat who lived to 17 and was just the happiest, laziest cat you ever knew. Providing them with a safe, comfortable life is a huge motivator!
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 20
    darkest_irish_lass Could Clancy have kittens stashed somewhere outside? She may be a desperate mom trying to get back to them. Does she have obvious nipples on her belly?
    via darkest_irish_lass
  • 21
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 This thought crossed my mind as well. She doesn't have super obvious nipples that I can see/feel but I'll try to get another look. We have a Ring doorbell that has shown her asleep all night in her outdoor house for weeks without leaving it, so I figured if she had kittens she wouldn't be sleeping in there alone all night. I'll go walk around the yard regardless today and listen for anything!
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 22
    EverGlow89 You described my experience with Harry. This was his first day, just like you described. How, he's pretty happy with his life even though he does still yearn for the streets.
    via EverGlow89
  • 23
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 Oh I love this transition so much!! And what a beautiful grey and white buddy you have!! Thank you so much for sharing :)
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 24
    Adventurous-Cry-2157 It took 6 months for the rescue to get my girl socialized for adoption, then another 6 months waiting for me to find her and adopt her, because idiots are superstitious jerks about black cats, and everybody wants a dang kitten. Once I had her home, it was about a week before she really settled in and started cuddling with me, and probably 3 months before she felt truly comfortable with the other cats and had established her place in the pack.
    via Adventurous-Cry-2157
  • 25
    Once she decided I was her person, though, that she was safe and home, she became the most clingy, affectionate lap cat ever. Needy Nadja is what I call her. If I'm sitting, she's curled up on me. If I'm in bed, she's burrowed under the blankets next to me or between my legs. She is constantly demanding attention, and follows me everywhere like a little phantom.
    via Adventurous-Cry-2157
  • 26
    It still took two years for her to really become affectionate with my wife, though. She didn't dislike my wife, she was simply ambivalent to her presence, treated her like a piece of furniture, and saw her as the spare human who occasionally fed her. But now she allows pets and scritches from my wife (on her terms), and actually prefers her for butt bongos (she's a goofy kitty). Nadja will even occasionally grace my wife's lap with a sit, and my wife feels so honored (meanwhile, she can't keep A
    via Adventurous-Cry-2157
  • 27
    It takes time, patience and dedication. You first make sure their needs are met, then make sure they feel safe, then wait for them to be ready for you.
    via Adventurous-Cry-2157
  • 28
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 She is gorgeous!!!
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 29
    SVINTGATSBY you did the right thing. cats' life expectancy gets so much better once they're inside. she isn't used to being inside and all the perks it provides, like food, safety, affection, and no anxiety worrying about all the things that could kill her. being around your puppy could also help her acclimate because she'll see that the gettin's good. you did the right thing, it'll take some time but Clancy (and puppy) will feel better soon. and happy cake day!
    via SVINTGATSBY
  • 30
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 Thank you!! Didn't even realize it was my cake day too! Added bonus :)
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 31
    kidblinkforever I know it's hard, but let her have her big feelings safely in the bathroom. If you can, you may want a Wyze (or similar, that's just what I have) camera in there to keep an eye on her. Not sure where in the bathroom her kitty house is, but you may have better luck putting it in the bathtub. My senior most cat subsisted on Churu (with vet approval) for two weeks after major dental- I found putting them into cat bowls/ onto a plate was helpful for when they don't want be close or y
    via kidblinkforever
  • 32
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 Thank you for this advice! I will probably try to get a camera in there at some point. Right now her kitty house is facing the door (it's got enough room for her to exit the back as well if she wants), and she's been mostly staying inside it and coming out to yell at me if I open the bathroom door :/
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 33
    justagiraffe111 Sorry it's stressful right now for Clancy and for you! I also felt like I was keeping a hostage. We got our rescue cat at 6 months old from a foster family who had him since he was 9 weeks old. There were 12 cats living there -it was transitional housing. He was very friendly with us at the adoption event and they told us he was playful, curious and cuddly. We put him alone in a room as instructed (he screamed) and we quietly "visited" every 2 hours as directed. (he screamed) He
    via justagiraffe111
  • 34
    And so were we. We decided to let him out into the rest of the house to see if that would help him feel better. He banged on the front door screaming and then hid behind our refrigerator. We called rescue mom and asked if we should return him-he was miserable. She said to put him back in bedroom, stop all visits, only deliver food and water & change litter box for 3 days. The screaming finally stopped. because he was exhausted and gave up. Poor little dude. I felt like a kidnapper. He climbed in
    via justagiraffe111
  • 35
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 This is a great story! Poor little guy running behind the fridge, lol! I'm in agreement that time is the answer. Sweet Clancy used to bolt across the street and out of sight when I opened our front door, and now she comes for snuggles every night. It'll just take some time for her to realize she's safe. I'm holding onto hope that it'll happen sooner than later! Thank you for the encouragement!
    via Objective_Carpet4142
  • 36
    CallidoraBlack Could you bring her outdoor house inside for her?
    via CallidoraBlack
  • 37
    OP Objective_Carpet4142 We actually did! She's been mostly hanging out inside there, in the bathroom.
    via Objective_Carpet4142

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stray cats cat cds heartwarming cat adoption adopted advice Cat distribution system Cats stray
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